Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Attention Mommy Bloggers!

We've all been in that situation where you're with a group of people and some unfortunate soul has something icky in their teeth or in their nose...or maybe their zipper is down.  I can't lie to you, friends.  In that situation, I'd either be the winner with spinach in her teeth or the girl who just smiles and pretends like she doesn't see it.  However, there is something I have seen a lot of in the blogging community and it is infinitely more harmful than spinach teeth.  In all seriousness, I'd like to address this issue with you because it involves many of the things that matter most to me, personally.

Regardless of where I am online, most of my time is spent in the company of moms.  There is something within this circle that comes up on a regular basis, but is almost never addressed.  That something is the issue of safety.  I truly don't mean to offend or alarm anyone, but I have been shocked by some of the photos and information I have seen shared online by women (and men) who most likely just never stopped to think about the risks of such.  I've seen home addresses posted for all to see, detailed family whereabouts shared, and naked child after naked child after naked child.  I just don't understand this.  I've thought a lot about it and as someone who believes that people are basically good, I can only assume these lapses of judgement are based on a simple lack of awareness.

According to the Internet Safety Project, more than 20,000 images of child pornography are posted every day.  Approximately 20% of all Internet pornography involves children.  While I sincerely doubt anyone reading this article would EVER knowingly contribute to these statistics, my fear is that we may be inadvertently placing our children in danger just because we don't want to think about an issue as horrific as this one...certainly not in relation to us or our own sweet children.  To be completely honest with you, I would quite literally rather think about pretty much anything else on the planet as opposed to things like identity theft, cyber stalking, child abduction, and pedophiles.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  Please believe me that I would never be writing this if I didn't feel there was a strong need for it.  While I am not claiming to be an expert on this subject, I have done a bit of homework...and we all know that there aren't many forces in this world greater than a mom who has done her homework.  So, without further ado:

 
DON'T post suggestive/provocative pictures of yourself or anyone else- especially children, online.  In my own mind, I imagine that each picture I share online is a poster in a crowded subway station.  Would I still post it?

DO keep in mind that the way you see your photos and the way others see your photos may not be the same.  That photo you have of your little one in the bathtub or on the beach may be the most adorable thing you or I have ever seen, but to the wrong person it could be pornography.  Be discerning and use caution.

DON'T forget that what you share is most likely permanent.  If you do choose to post that picture of your little one's tushy, just remember that the same little tushy will be a big tushy one day.  We want that tushy to be able to run for congress...or at least go to high school without getting stuffed in a locker.

DO take a closer look at your photos before sharing them.  Is your house number on the mailbox behind your little sweetie as he or she is getting on the bus in that first day of school photo?  Is your address on the envelope next to the bouquet of flowers you photographed?  I know that sounds a little James Bond, but just be aware and be careful.

DON'T share personal information.  That sounds strange because we often share personal things on our blogs, but I mean things like your address, what school your children attend, where you will be (and won't be) at certain times, ages, birth dates, last names...things like that.

DO be aware of what photo editing software can do.  If you have posted pictures of your children online, it is possible that those images have been taken and photoshopped in a manner that makes them child pornography.  In other words, cyber predators can take that sweet photo of your little one in the bathtub and Photoshop themselves right on in there with them.  One of my best friends is a social worker and opened my eyes to this practice.  I seriously felt sick to my stomach and lost a lot of sleep after that conversation.  Don't freak out like I did.  Just be aware.

DON'T be afraid to speak up if someone is posting something you think could be dangerous to themselves or their children.  Just keep in mind that this is a very sensitive subject and should be handled carefully and tactfully.  Don't go overboard, but do be a responsible advocate for the safety of children and others.

DO err on the side of caution when it comes to deciding what to share online.  I'm not saying you should parade your children around with blankets over their heads a' la the late Michael Jackson.  I'm just saying we should all exercise common sense and be protective of our own children and children in general.  I don't want to start any wars in Blog Land, but I say, when it comes to something this important, sometimes you've got to be the girl who cried spinach in your teeth.

62 comments:

  1. Excellent points and advice! It's best to be very careful, especially with photos of children.
    Thanks for standing up!
    Jane-Jacksonville

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  2. Excellent advice. I had heard that years ago about photoshopping children to make them appear pornographic. Very sad that we have to live in a world where we have to be afraid of that sort of behavior. Even on FB, I'm leery of who has access even though they tell us we can restrict. Hopefully some who have never thought of the points you outline here will read this.

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  3. Good for you! Someone needed to stand up and remind us all. I hope this message spreads and spreads and spreads. If we can stop someone from doing something horrible by being more aware, then hooray for us!!!!!!!

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  4. These are great points and great reminders to all people who post pics anywhere online, be it blogs or fb or other social media! Thanks for the reminder!

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  5. great tips! i try to be so aware of not only what i put of my kids, but what i put of myself too! there are very sick people out there and it disgusts me to no end when they target our sweet little ones.
    thank you for posting and for reminding us all.

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  6. Well said and I will spread the word on my end of the blog world. Just a quick note you can always create a blog and make it private only to preserve your photos and videos on line and to share only with your family members.

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  7. Excellent post! I've seen the same things you've mentioned. And I haven't said a word. I just click of the page and think "are they crazy?" Thank you for speaking up...like I should have.

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  8. Good advice! I had better go look @ my blog now with all these things in mind. Thanks for the enlightenment. My Facebook photos are only for friends to see, but I wonder how safe that even is. Eek.

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  9. This is so timely and perfect for you to post. This is the very reason I went to a complete craft blog after much thought and prayer. I actually watched my analytics really closely and after a lot of research...realized some innocent old posts of my children were being viewed in HIGH NUMBERS. I won't go into details but the safety of my kids was the number one motivator. I removed almost every post with them as the central part of it. Also...I wish I did not know about the fact that there is a disgusting "brotherhood of pedophiles." They tell each other where to go online, how to contact children, and find photos, etc. It is appalling and terrifying. So Meg...this is incredibly wise to share and so very important. We all need to be reminded about how important this is.

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  10. Great post. Sad that we have to be so careful but I agree we have to be.

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  11. I want to jump through the computer and shake the parent every time I see naked kid pics on blogs, twitter and Facebook. Thanks for saying it. Another good rule of thumb "how would my kid feel about what I wrote 15 years from now."

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  12. ---even though my blog is semi-anonymous and I don't put many pics of my kids (or their names)---it is still important to be able to answer YES to the question "Would it be okay for my mom to see this?"

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  13. Well said. I have been appalled at some photos I've seen posted. We live in a sick world and we can never be too careful, especially when it involves the safety of our children!

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  14. Glad you spoke up about the spinach in the teeth! Love this post... will pass the word!

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  15. Thank You so much for Sharing this! I feel the same way. and will be sharing this.
    I also will say that I avoid all pictures being Taken of my children unless hey are fully clothed and doing nothing that can be miss used. because you never know how is developing them and those "kodak" machines store all photos that get loaded to them.

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  16. Megan, well said. i hope that i haven't posted anything regrettable but i suspect I have a time of two. i don't even know. in the past year I've become very selective about what i will show and also how much. I've found some of my photos on foreign sites, i cant read the caption. it's alarming and so true, once its out there its out there for good. theres no taking it back. thanks again

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  17. THANK YOU! I am a prosecutor and have firsthand knowledge of these practices. I am very paranoid about the information I post of my children, and while I don't want to exclude them from everything as they do influence everything I create, I also do not want to put them in danger. Sometimes I feel paranoid but this post just verified exactly what I fear most. Thank you for spreading the knowledge and I will be sure to do the same.

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  18. I am so glad that someone finally posted this kind of article. Only today, I saw a top blogger posting naked pictures of her daughter online, and I thought to myself ' I probably wouldn't have used that pic' We need to preserve their innocence, and be mindful of the types of pics we post. Thank you for such an informative and well written article.

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  19. I'm glad you talked about this. I get really concerned sometimes too. I would tell you, you have spinach in your teeth, but I feel reluctant to advise people on their information sharing because I worry about offending people. But it is a really important issue to discuss.

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  20. As a blogging scrapbooker I am very aware of pages I might make that are not internet safe, innocent things like "babies first bath", or my youngest whose just grown out of the I-want-to-be-always-naked stage end up solely in the scrapbook album & not on my blog/internet. I am also cautious of markers on photos, such as school logos on uniforms which I edit out of blog photos.
    The potential of photoshopping themselves into photos is quite scary though .... this can make even the most censored picture pornographic.
    Thanks for bringing these points up, I shall be passing on the link on both facebook & twitter

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  21. Thank you so much for reminding this to us. You don't want to think about these things but we have to. I will post this on my blog to spread the word.

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  22. I absolutely agree with you! Thanks for for this post. I am very careful of the pictures I post of my 1yr old daughter on my blog. Usually I only post pictures of family members back view =)

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  23. Great post. I try to be very cognizant of this as well. I will have to go back and review my post. My husband had a strick rule of no online photos of my daughter until recently (no facebook, etc.). I have even tried to conceal the town we live in.

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  24. Thanks so much for posting this! I often think the same way... I see a lot of children's photos on line and frankly, it scares me too. Hopefully your post will save someone some grief!
    Susan

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  25. Thank you so much for the great advice!

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  26. thanks for sharing, I am going to watch myself more closely even though I dont' think I've done this, but yet have not even thought about it!

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  27. My husband is a police officer, and I know all too well what you are talking about. My friends think he's brainwashed me into being paranoid, but you are SO, SO right about all of this. The people that are out there—the things my husband sees every day—would make a blogger mommy close her account if she knew!

    Please take this seriously, readers!

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  28. I'm so glad that it's not just that my husband and I are paranoid... that's why I refer to my kids by a pseudonym and why I will never have identifying photos of them on my blog (I have one of Blossom in a poncho, but you can't see her face) and I can't imagine a reason why I would publish my address or phone number either.

    It's dreadful that this is the world we live in, but you can never be too careful.

    Tracey
    thepeonyteacup.blogspot.com

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  29. As a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother, I appreciate your post. My rule has been, Do not post pictures of my family. Thank you again.

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  30. Great post! I remember when people used to say - don't tell anyone online - your name and address, etc... but then along came myspace, facebook, blogs, etc... and everyone's lives became an open book.

    I personally decided not to share photos online of myself or my family on my blog. My site is about Family & Christmas Movies - so I keep it on that subject. You never know who is lurking!

    Thank you for speaking out. You never know how many precious little ones images were protected because of your boldness.

    God bless you!

    Net Movie Blogger
    www.itsawonderfulmovie.blogspot.com

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  31. Not only should these do's and don't apply to our children- but to ANYONE and EVERYONE who maintains an online presence. Take it from someone who has been stalked. It's a pretty scary experience.

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  32. Great advice. Even our profiles sometimes share more than they should without meaning too. I've had to rethink mine a couple of times. I need to go back and check it again to make sure I haven't given too much out.

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  33. Good to see this written! I will stick to my principles even more, not to post pics of my kids on my blog. I have seen some scary articles about where publicly posted photos can end up and what kind of characters can get obsessed about them.

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  34. Thank you for posting this! We all need reminders....:) I"m going to check my photos right now!!!!
    Thank You!!!!!

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  35. Well said, and well shared. I try to be careful, but I know there have been times that I've lapsed. Thank you for the reminder.

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  36. This is so very true, and while I totally agree...here's the dilemma I have (and I'm sure many, many other bloggers have):

    What is a family/mommy blog, without photos of your kids? Without sharing what's going on? How do you build a following and "do something" with your blog if it's private?

    I debated for weeks whether I should even start a blog, and when I finally did (a year ago) I used nicknames for myself and family. I didn't post too much personal info at all. I was really nervouse about the internet. I even cancelled my personal FB account this past spring. Then someone told me, if "those bad people" really wanted your information/photos, they'll get it if your online, period. Period. So I convinced myself that sharing a little info, like names and photos and fun times, wouldn't be any more dangerous than just simply being online anyway. Isn't this true?

    I still really try to watch what I write and what's in my photos, but here is where I'm at (again, as I'm sure many other bloggers are):

    I'm not a "pro", I don't have a craft blog, a design blog, I don't write long, thoughtful posts all the time. I'm a "mommy blogger" you could say...so if I really let this all sink in again, I probably WOULD shut down my blog (which I do think about doing at least once or twice a month anyway). If everyone did this, the only blogs out there would be "pro" and certain genre blogs.

    Any advice on this?! It really is about protecting our kids, but I hate how unfair and scary "those bad people" have made the world!

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  37. Oh, and to all you bloggers that are wondering if maybe a photo you posted was being used somewhere, I recently found this service that looks through the internet for you to see if it is.

    http://www.tineye.com/

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  38. Working in the PC Industry for quite a while and being just a new blogger I can only agree with your article and shared it also on my FB site. I can't believe how many information are put freely on the internet. If you use it - please think about the safety policy. Every platform has privacy settings and think carefully what you put on your blog. I am a young mum myself and rather careful what picture to blog. I even blurr or blank the face to make us unrecognizeable.

    http://slightlybonkers.hubpages.com

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  39. Would it be okay if I posted this on my blog? I will make sure it is clear that you wrote it. If you would like to check out my blog first tham here is the link.

    http://bewitnwise.blogspot.com

    Thanks! Cassandra

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  40. i always feel really uncomfortable when moms upload pictures of their naked babies on facebook. no one wants to see that.

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  41. I feel kinda divided on this actually. I read an article in the NYT a while back all about how insane we've all gotten over our kids Halloween candy, but really when you stop to think about it, exactly how many kids have been poisoned by some evil-doing candy hander-outer? Apparently, according to the NYT, pretty much none. We live in an age of extreme parent paranoia- on so many levels. What if my kid isn't getting enough attention/love/schooling/extracarricular exposure/vegetables/etc.? They can't walk 3 houses to the bus stop alone for fear of child snatchers, ride their bikes any more, have a treat some nice mom is handing out at the park because of this extreme fear.

    Now, i realize bad things do happen. I know we don't live in a perfect world, but until I get some actual examples of the horrors of people posting sensible things but might lead someone to figure out the city where they live, or their kids names or something I just kinda refuse to participate in this idea that the world IS SO EVIL and everyone is out to get us. I've found as I've let myself let go of these things I've met a lot of really neat people, and feel less closed off and isolated in this big world.

    This is crazy long, but in the end I don't post pictures of my kids naked cause that's just kind of weird, but if the crazy bad people are going to look at them and get a rise, that's their sickness, not mine. Have you read lolita? You might never take your kids to the park again....

    And now everyone will destroy me... :) And I'm going to change my blogger account just so I don't get hate mail and stalkers hahaha but you know who I am and I love you girlie. :)

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  42. Thank you so much for posting this! It's a great reminder to watch what we post online, it never goes away!

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  43. What a great reminder! No, I do not think we should be ultra paranoid, but it never hurt anyone to take a few precautions just in case.

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  44. The idea of someone photo shopping gave me the chills.

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  45. Thx so much for taking the time to blog what you posted. I am a very new blogger. After my first blog, my daughter had a daughter to mother heart to heart talk. I need that from time to time. I am a grandmother & I want to tell the world how great my children & grandchild are. But you are right. You have to be careful. I really don't believe anyone reads my blog, so it can be easy to get slack. Thank you again.

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  46. Hi,
    I am trying to get ahold of Meg for design work.
    I tried to use the contact button, but my info won't
    go through....
    I was wondering if she could contact me :)

    Thanks Rene'

    @bargainhoot.com

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  47. Safety first! I don't have kids...but had a rude awakening as a new Navy wife. When our guys get deployed blogging becomes part of the support group we need and it's only natural to want to talk about what/where etc. The Command teaches Operational Security, kind of a Loose Lips Sink Ships motto, and it was then that I became aware that ANYONE would be reading my blog and could find details that I may not want them to have. Completely agree with you that in this age safe blogging applies to EVERY blogger.

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  48. What a wonderful, yet scary, post. I'm your newest GFC follower. Stop ove rand say HI!!

    SusieQTpies

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  49. I am a mommy blogger I gues...I didn't start with that in mind but it turned out that I blog about life :) I DO freak out about that stuff! I do worry! Just makes me sick to my stomache thinking about all this...sure does...I don't post the bathtub or nudie shots but I worry about the photoshop stuff... thanks for the reminders to be more aware...I need that once in awhile!

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  50. Very good advice. I am definitely going to be more aware of what I share. Thanks!

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  51. Really fantastic post. I would love to share pictures of my adorable little boy on my blog but I don't and won't because of the issues you have highlighted. My husband really doesn't like the idea on Facebook either so I now keep to a minimum.

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  52. Thanks so much for this article, it is so timely and just reaffirms some real dangers and brings real wisdom to the whole topic.

    I personally use a brush name for my art blog and all of my online presence. I dont post pics of myself or my children and I keep my facebook business page seperate to my personal page.

    I think that wisdom says we have to err on the side of caution because our babies are just way to precious.
    Thanks so much, loving your blog!!!!

    Blessings from New Zealand
    Suzanne

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  53. Very very good advice. I know when I'm taking a picture I'm very much aware of what else will show in there. Great blog!

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  54. This is the major concern I have with Facebook and the way peopleuse it.
    Thanks for sharing.

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  55. Thanks for posting, very tactfully done. No better way to cry "spinach" than this.

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  56. Very good and sound advice.
    I am a new follower http://babyfeetandpuppybreath.blogspot.com/ and I am loving your blog!
    I snagged some of your freebie tags for my blog, Thank you.
    I hope that you can stop by, say hello and follow back if you like.

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  57. This is wonderful advise! Thank you for sharing. I had never thought of many of these things and they are right here in front of our eyes! I am a huge child advocate and feel that people no longer get involved enough when they know children may be in danger or at high risk anyway. As neighbors, friends even strangers, we, as women and mothers need to take a stronger stand to protect children today!!

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  58. This is fantastic advice. The world is scary but that doesn't mean you can't live, just need to be careful.

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